"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
In case you didn't know, that's the Murphy's Law, something I swear by. That and
"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
Now, what if there were someone who had made the Law the core of his existence, talked to imaginary companions named Murphy and balked at the sheer crassness of the words of the Law and
and rephrased it to his suiting. What would be the Law according to him...
"Life is a 3-D space. Each activity that we perform is a vector ie. it has a magnitude(relevance) and direction(aim). There is no vector(activity) that is perpendicular to MURPHY VECTOR. Accept this law. But try to challenge it…"
Before we spend some time with this certain someone, we gotta give him a name. Norman N P sounds good.
Disclaimer: From this point on, everything is fiction, based on truth. Resemblance of fictional characters to real life people is coincidental, to an extent. Artistic freedom grants me absolute impunity.
Many of us wake up to three different mornings. We either have a reason to get up, a reason not to get up, or worst of all didn't give a damn if we got up or not. Today, Norman didn't start his day like the rest of us. He woke up staring at the same pale ceiling he had slept staring at, wishing that the night wouldn't pass so soon. But then again, the past week had put him through enough that he no longer cared. What's another day gonna do? What always got him up was the one thing that wasn't one his ceiling every night. A crack in the window let in a streak of sunlight across the ceiling, sometimes pale, sometimes dazzling, but always there. "Might be the start of something good", thought Norman.
He got up and hurried to his computer. The day was picture perfect, the sun, the sky, trees, everything. Norman only caught a glimpse of this panorama in the reflection on his computer screen, before the artificially generated colors of the desktop wallpaper drowned out everything else. He checked the mail and saw what he had been waiting for. His appointment request had been granted and today he would be presenting his project to the board of directors.
To understand his anticipation as well as dread of this day, requires an insight into the events of the past week.
D -6: Lightning strikes Norman's office building. Fifty million volts surging through the lightning conductor suddenly sees Norman's LAN wire, which has been attached to the conductor for support. Decides that the computer might be a happening place to be and takes the detour. Fireworks ensue and the only copy of Norman's project presentation is in smokes.
D -5: Norman frantically works on rebuilding his presentation, pressing Ctrl-S more often than typing anything. Colleague trips over computer wires, causing a reboot. Scandisk sees the broken PPT files and proceeds to methodically delete it bit by bit. Norman's scream drives away stray dogs in the area.
D -4: Norman brings project documents back home. Takes a bath and comes back to his room to find more paper shreds than at a ticker tape parade, with his pet cat, claws still drawn and purring contently, right in the middle of it. Makes a mental note to change his cat's name from 'Garfield' before bursting into tears.
D -3: Presentation almost complete. Sends a appointment request to the Board of Directors, before proceeding to revise his work. Spots a small conversion mistake in his calculations and corrects it. Sees that the new projected results will drive the company into the ground. Blankly stares at the screen for half an hour before rushing out to borrow the neighbour's son's math textbook.
D -2: Gets presentation approved by his guide. Elated, Norman rushes out to celebrate. Crashes into a director knocking him down a small flight of stairs.
Office workers report hearing strange noises in the offices' ventilation shaft for the rest of the day.
D -1: Norman puts one copy of presentation in the National Bank's safety deposit locker. Takes an insurance out on another copy. Unable to convince insurance agent to include protection against Acts of God in the clause.
The week that passed had taken its toll and paranoia had made him a partial insomniac. He downed a cup of tea to help soothe his nerves. Good tea, he thought and made a second cup and took it up to his room as he readied to head out. He sent a copy of his PPT to his office mail and carried three copies on his person, a hard copy, a copy burned on a CD and finally one on the ubiquitous USB.
As he walked towards his car, he took some time to look around. It really is a beautiful spring morning, he thought. He lifted his face and let it bathe it the morning light, feeling his spirits rise along with the sun. Feeling much better, he got into his car, looked around one last time at the the blue sky, the branches of the oak swaying lightly in the morning breeze, the neighbour's kids playing with garden hose, laughing and said out loud four little words, the same words he had been saying everyday morning for the past week...
"What could go wrong?"
In case you didn't know, that's the Murphy's Law, something I swear by. That and
"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
Now, what if there were someone who had made the Law the core of his existence, talked to imaginary companions named Murphy and balked at the sheer crassness of the words of the Law and
and rephrased it to his suiting. What would be the Law according to him...
"Life is a 3-D space. Each activity that we perform is a vector ie. it has a magnitude(relevance) and direction(aim). There is no vector(activity) that is perpendicular to MURPHY VECTOR. Accept this law. But try to challenge it…"
Before we spend some time with this certain someone, we gotta give him a name. Norman N P sounds good.
Disclaimer: From this point on, everything is fiction, based on truth. Resemblance of fictional characters to real life people is coincidental, to an extent. Artistic freedom grants me absolute impunity.
Many of us wake up to three different mornings. We either have a reason to get up, a reason not to get up, or worst of all didn't give a damn if we got up or not. Today, Norman didn't start his day like the rest of us. He woke up staring at the same pale ceiling he had slept staring at, wishing that the night wouldn't pass so soon. But then again, the past week had put him through enough that he no longer cared. What's another day gonna do? What always got him up was the one thing that wasn't one his ceiling every night. A crack in the window let in a streak of sunlight across the ceiling, sometimes pale, sometimes dazzling, but always there. "Might be the start of something good", thought Norman.
He got up and hurried to his computer. The day was picture perfect, the sun, the sky, trees, everything. Norman only caught a glimpse of this panorama in the reflection on his computer screen, before the artificially generated colors of the desktop wallpaper drowned out everything else. He checked the mail and saw what he had been waiting for. His appointment request had been granted and today he would be presenting his project to the board of directors.
To understand his anticipation as well as dread of this day, requires an insight into the events of the past week.
D -6: Lightning strikes Norman's office building. Fifty million volts surging through the lightning conductor suddenly sees Norman's LAN wire, which has been attached to the conductor for support. Decides that the computer might be a happening place to be and takes the detour. Fireworks ensue and the only copy of Norman's project presentation is in smokes.
D -5: Norman frantically works on rebuilding his presentation, pressing Ctrl-S more often than typing anything. Colleague trips over computer wires, causing a reboot. Scandisk sees the broken PPT files and proceeds to methodically delete it bit by bit. Norman's scream drives away stray dogs in the area.
D -4: Norman brings project documents back home. Takes a bath and comes back to his room to find more paper shreds than at a ticker tape parade, with his pet cat, claws still drawn and purring contently, right in the middle of it. Makes a mental note to change his cat's name from 'Garfield' before bursting into tears.
D -3: Presentation almost complete. Sends a appointment request to the Board of Directors, before proceeding to revise his work. Spots a small conversion mistake in his calculations and corrects it. Sees that the new projected results will drive the company into the ground. Blankly stares at the screen for half an hour before rushing out to borrow the neighbour's son's math textbook.
D -2: Gets presentation approved by his guide. Elated, Norman rushes out to celebrate. Crashes into a director knocking him down a small flight of stairs.
Office workers report hearing strange noises in the offices' ventilation shaft for the rest of the day.
D -1: Norman puts one copy of presentation in the National Bank's safety deposit locker. Takes an insurance out on another copy. Unable to convince insurance agent to include protection against Acts of God in the clause.
The week that passed had taken its toll and paranoia had made him a partial insomniac. He downed a cup of tea to help soothe his nerves. Good tea, he thought and made a second cup and took it up to his room as he readied to head out. He sent a copy of his PPT to his office mail and carried three copies on his person, a hard copy, a copy burned on a CD and finally one on the ubiquitous USB.
As he walked towards his car, he took some time to look around. It really is a beautiful spring morning, he thought. He lifted his face and let it bathe it the morning light, feeling his spirits rise along with the sun. Feeling much better, he got into his car, looked around one last time at the the blue sky, the branches of the oak swaying lightly in the morning breeze, the neighbour's kids playing with garden hose, laughing and said out loud four little words, the same words he had been saying everyday morning for the past week...
"What could go wrong?"
1 comment:
Good one.... describes "Norman's" life pretty much down to a T. he he..... But I'm waiting to see what goes wrong on the day of the presentation.....
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